I remember being utterly convinced that one of my breakups was ludicrous because we loved each other. On one hand this is true, love saves the day. Suddenly, in one swift Eureka! moment, we realize that there is, in fact, a solution to every single problem we've ever had. When a breakup has been prolonged (think the same fight on repeat), when it’s finally over we forget all the ways it wasn’t working. Here are 5 things you should not do after a breakup: Instead, most of us attempt to lessen the pain by doing things, and the things we choose to do end up hurting us more than healing us. We're not functioning at our full capacity, and our souls are yearning for healing. Making sense of what was happening to my life felt close to impossible.Īs our systems are trying to recover, we're fragile, disoriented, and heavily stressed. During this delicate time we shouldn’t be taking a whole lot of action.
Moment-to-moment decisions were extremely challenging. I knew that my brain, my body, and my emotions were working together to help me survive after that breakup, and that meant I was a wreck. I knew that my hypothalamus was stressed the f*** out so it decided to send out a hormone to suppress my appetite. I knew cortisol was being released in dangerous heaps turning me into an insomniac. I knew that my heart physically hurt because stress hormones were narrowing my arteries. Our brains become wired to our partners, and when they leave deep fears of abandonment resurface that cause serious emotional, mental, and even physical pain. Unwanted breakups, regardless of circumstances, are not only emotionally devastating, but they also affect us physiologically.
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